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Monthly Archives: May 2012

Dearest readers, I live a life of constant nausea. And trust me, I am not pregnant.

I doubt the excessive number of people around helped ease my oncoming panic attack…

Although I am not quite sure when all of this began, it’s been going on for a while now. I don’t really understand what it means is wrong with my body. You see, a few years ago I went to NYC for the first time with my mom, brother, cousins, and uncle. My uncle, Rick, was really excited about taking us to this great Italian restaurant. So after a long day of riding into the city, seeing Phantom on Broadway, exploring the shops around Times Square, we found ourselves standing outside the restaurant. They told us that there was an hour wait. I freaked. This was my first panic attack. I think Rick thought I was being a little brat, whining around about wanting to go get a bagel next door. I ended up on the street outside, calling my dad and best friend crying. Not sure what was wrong with me but I was freaked out. This was when I learned that if I didn’t eat at regular intervals, shit gets bad. Since then, I’ve learned that if I don’t eat for a long period of time, I start to shake and get nauseous. However, most of the time when I eat I get nauseous after (particularly those great microwaveable meals I had been eating at school this year).

Instead of actually throwing up, I sit like this for hours on end.

The thing about me and nausea is this, I don’t ever throw up. I can’t make myself throw up. It’s literally impossible. I’ve tried the good ole finger down your throat, but I end up with my finger near the front of my mouth crying. I don’t get it, but I’ve come to accept it’s who I am. That’s why when I went to college we bought the largest bottle of Pepto we could find.

This brings me to the issue at hand. This past Tuesday, I found out that in addition to azithromycin and amoxicilian, I am now allergic to omnicef. As the doctor said, the top three upper respiratory antibiotics are now out for me. So I’m stuck with doxycycline right now. Guess what? You have to take doxycycline on an empty stomach. So either thirty minutes before eating or two hours after and then right before bed. Did I mention I can’t not eat when I wake up? I’m the person who wakes up, brushes their teeth, then eats… immediately. So this morning, I got up, took my pill, hopped in the shower. Come back down, my mom is making eggs but they aren’t nearly ready yet. I go upstairs and try to get ready, but am soon overcome with nausea. When my mom said food was ready, I quickly headed down. That’s when it happened. I still have my cough, but as I was walking the cough was particularly strong. I swear to you, had I not controlled it, I would’ve projectile vomited all over my floor.

So now, instead of being the good Christian girl I wanted to be going to church today, I am laying in bed praying to God that this nausea will cease and desist so I can make it to my friend’s going away party. Maybe I should invest in a seasickness bracelet to help prevent nausea… Hmm…

Oh Google, you always know what to do!

Also, if you have any advice as to why I’m nauseous so often, please feel free to comment. Or if you have any ideas on things to write about, I’m always open to it! It’s summer, so I’m losing my drive to write.

Lesson of the Day: Don’t be allergic to stuff, it makes life easier. Hah. If only we could control it!

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So, I searched “packed full car” and this came up… I couldn’t help myself. This will be Bemis next fall.

Packing up my car today, I realized the true meaning of bittersweet. Last night was my last ever sleeping in Eggers, in a dorm, in a room shared with someone else. This morning, I easily said my goodbyes to the communal showers and the various stalls. I was a bit sadder to say goodbye to Ms. Kathy, our lovely cleaning lady. Every day for the past ten months, she would park her cart right outside our door (we were literally two steps from the bathroom) and if ever I walked out, she would apologize profusely for having her stuff in my way. She was always smiling and a wonderfully positive way to start off my days. Sadly, I couldn’t find her to say goodbye in person, so I left a note. Then I said my goodbyes to the girls in my photography class. The six of us have been in the same class for the last two semesters, and I was saddened today when I found out that not all of us will be taking the same classes in the fall. Then I said goodbye to my favorite RA and a girl on my floor. Judy and I had said our goodbyes early on. Even that was oddly sad. I won’t miss being her roommate, but we did have some good times together.

While there is a lot I’m excited to leave behind, it is still sad. That was my little home for some time, not perfect, not the nicest, but it was mine. Goodbye Eggers Hall. I’ll never forget you.

Anyways, I’m home now. Let the adventures begin!

Lesson for the Day: Even those places you think you’ll never miss can become a soft spot for you, cherish every moment you get.

Tomorrow, I will be heading back to the lake to start my summer.

Thursday, I will officially be done with my freshman year of college.

It’s so weird to think that it is already over. The worst part is that it had to end just as I was really getting the hang of things and starting to really enjoy myself. Since I have no exams today or any exams that require studying beforehand, I figured I would use this time to reflect on the past year and my upcoming summer.

And yes, I’ve seen people’s food get messed with. Don’t piss people off who make your food.

This summer… I will finally be making money again, hopefully hosting and serving. I want to make bank so I don’t have to keep relying on my parents. I also want to come back to Boone over the summer to secure a job for the fall. I’ll be able to see all of my high school friends again. I haven’t seen Jacqueline barely at all this year, and I seriously miss her biting sarcasm and all the jokes we have. I can’t wait to get back on the lake, get some sort of color. I am going to dye my hair, that’s exciting. I will hopefully be getting into the best shape of my life. I’m going to the beach in a week. My college friends are going to come see me. Two of my closest friends from this year live in my area, so I won’t have to miss them too much. I’ll get to spend time with my family and Bemis. Best of all, I’ll be heading to Pennsylvania to see my family.

Ours aren’t even that nice. We JUST got shower heads two weeks ago.

This past year… A lot has changed. I went from being strong to herniated two discs in my back, then when I was almost all the way recovered, it came back. I ended up going under the knife and coming out miraculously better. Though not a lot of people would say it (mostly because they suck), I have come a long way socially. Even the last few weeks of high school, I didn’t venture outside my group to talk to people. Now I can hold conversations with strangers, as long as they initiate it of course. I learned I can survive without my parents. I learned to be independent. I learned that I don’t need a boyfriend to be happy. I learned that if you really don’t like how a person acts, you don’t have to be around them. You don’t have to spend time on a friendship with someone who is completely different. People grow and they change, it’s just the way of life. I also learned that girls are disgusting human beings (two words: communal bathroom). I learned that even if you really, really dislike a person at various moments, even if they are terribly inconsiderate and rude, you can still have fun with them. I really don’t know how to put it all into words, but this year was a huge change (as college is expected to be) and, I don’t know, I’m just really proud of myself. Lame as it sounds, those first few weeks were horrible. I wanted to cry, a lot. I was miserable, I wanted to go home all of the time. But then it got better.

The weird thing for me is that although I really do love my family and where I live, I am not super ecstatic about leaving. I would love to stay another week or two. Correction: If I lived in an apartment, I would love to stay another week or two. However, I am over the dorm life. Completely.

This is where I spent the last ten months. I wouldn’t change a thing.

Lesson for the Day: If you can, I completely recommend living on campus your first year of college. Also, don’t live within an hour of home. You need distance in order to grow on your own, which is what college is all about.

Picture this, but not so fancy.

Today, as I am sure everyone knows, is Cinco de Mayo.

My university was smart enough to plan our reading day today. Hah. I wonder how that will work out. Today, I plan to indulge in anything and everything Mexican style. I’ll be heading over to my friend Sarah’s for dinner to enjoy tacos and margaritas. Afterwards, we will be heading to what has been entitled, “YOLO: Shitshow de Mayo”. Here’s a brief description from the event page…

 

“beepers and the address will be posted the day of.
NO parking is allowed. in fact, the driveway will be blocked. ain’t no po-po comin’ tonight!
menu: 4 tubs of PJ, jello shots galore, BYOB if you want to get craycray.
SPONSORED BY ROCKSTAR.”

I think this party looks more fun.

We can’t wait. The whole purpose of this is to celebrate the leader of the Class of 2015’s graduation, Project X-style. I never actually saw the movie, but I saw plenty of previews. So between now and dinner, it is gonna be kind of hard to convince myself to be production. But I do have a lot to do, finals and all. I have a take home essay, then two online exams. The second one, though, I need to look up extra info for to add into my notes. I will be going to the beach on the 13th, as long as all goes according to plan, so being a 19-year old girl and all, I need to work on my beach body.

Last night, my mom and her friend came up to help move the big things out of my dorm, so it is a bizarre feeling. I’m living in a shell, with very few cozy aspects besides my posters I forgot to take down. They had to take my special mattress we purchased last semester for my herniated discs, leaving me with the plain old dorm mattress. Problem is, I bought an eggshell cover for my dorm mattress so it wouldn’t suck so bad, but when I got my new mattress, I let Judy have it to add to her own. So right now, I’m in hell. My back hasn’t hurt this bad in months. I have decided that dorm mattresses alone would destroy anyone’s back. I was planning on heading home Thursday, but now it’ll definitely be Wednesday.

I would also like to mention that Judy, miss know it all, made it a point to say that Mexicans don’t even celebrate Cinco de Mayo. She’s like, “Everyone thinks it’s like their independence day but it’s not.” Thankfully, I paid attention in Spanish and told her, “It’s not their independence day, but it was the date of a very important battle…” So HAH! Suck it, I know more.

Almost the exact picture the FB page boasted….

Update: The “Yolo: Shitshow de Mayo” was a failure, at least in my eyes. Basically, it was the kind of situation that only someone who was wasted would enjoy. By the time I arrived, all the PJ was gone as were the jello shots. People didn’t understand the concept of how to move through a crowd, so I had to push my way through. Then as I ventured downstairs with Sarah to check out the dance floor, the temperature rose twenty degrees in we could see there was no dancing, just sweating bodies touching. Too many people in a small house. No thank you. Plus, as I went inside to find Maggy, I made the mistake of breathing in. This resulted in the same cough that has only ever come from my few times smoking pot. Within twenty minutes of our arrival, Sarah and I were at the bottom of the hill waiting for our beeper to take us back.

Lesson for the Day: Don’t put too much pressure on one night.