My Wittle Back Surgery.

My grippy socks and blood clot preventing mechanism. So sexy.

Okay, well here’s a quick update. Yesterday, I got a micro-endoscopic discectomy. There were more words involved in that title, because the nurses kept asking me what I was getting done and every time I had to pause and think and say discectomy? They didn’t seem to get that at 4 am my brain wasn’t fully functioning, particularly because I was having a mini panic attack about getting an IV and later back surgery. The easy part was how they had to ask me my full name and birth date. I don’t see why they couldn’t just stick with that question. But no, they had to complicate it with big words that my normal brain can’t even comprehend.

I looked like a damn fool with my shaking legs as one nurse inserted the IV as another held my hand. I didn’t ask her to, but I think she sensed that I needed it. I went into surgery at around 5:30 am and in total it took about an hour. A bit longer than he expected because it turns out that I had a lot more herniated disc material than expected. Overall, I’d say the surgery was a major success. My leg pain is gone and the only remaining issue is slight numbness in my foot. That’s to be expected as it’s been numb for six months so it will take some time to return full feeling. The incision is about an inch long, maybe more according to my grandma. The thing that really sucks is the major sore throat I have from the breathing tube. It feels like they were like, “OH SHIT! Almost forgot the breathing tube” as I was on the table and shoved it down as fast as they could. Plus, now I’m randomly coughing things up. Not cool.

See, not big at all.

Now I basically get to lay around for two weeks, with occasional walks around the house to prevent blood clots. I’m not allowed to sit at a 90 degree angle for more than 15-20 minutes, so car rides are out of the question. The worst part is no shower til Monday. I’m hoping dry shampoo can last me til then.

So yeah, that’s all I really have to say about the surgery. I survived. I got a gift basket and a flower arrangement so far, pretty spiffy. I’m feeling special as everyone calls my family for updates. But now, I’m going to return to my lovely couch so that my mom and grandma don’t come home to find me typing this sitting at a 90 degree angle.

Lesson for the Day: If you decide to document your hospital stay, try to look more attractive than I did. I look like a drugged out mental patient in almost all of them.

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